I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just pee around me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
