and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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