is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
