trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
