I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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