if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
