in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize