Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
