like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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