So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
send nudes
from the living room?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
