first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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