haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
