8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
