Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
