i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
