I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
