we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
