Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
