Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
