I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
