Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
