it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
