I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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