Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
