im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
