That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
