Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
