Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
