Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
