We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
