Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
