i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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