yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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