Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
