My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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