i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
