The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
