I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
