Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
