Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
