low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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