Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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