halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
