Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
