Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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