what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
