hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
