he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
