Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
