I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
